How to Become a Hermit

Yeah, I was lazy so went with the obvious joke.

For those without huts or caves, human sized shells would make a suitable substitute.

Hermits are relatively solitary folk. They don’t care for society; they frown upon it. It is, however, a great career for people who don’t like people. Chances are most the people you know don’t actually like you. Of the ones that do you probably like less than half of them. From the remainder, most you can only tolerate for short periods of time anyway. Companionship is overrated; even Jesus only had twelve friends. Why would anyone need more friends than Jesus?

Much like being a prophet, beards are looked kindly upon. Similarly, you need to be introspective and probably shouldn’t own fast cars and expensive jewellery. Unlike propheteering, you don’t have to obtain followers to be a hermit. Charisma is not a necessary job requirement. That’s really the only difference. Oh, and you’re going to need a cave or hut.

Hermitting it up in the city can be difficult. Thanks to modern technology, it is achievable, especially with supermarket home deliveries. Tesco’s don’t home deliver to caves. You need a postcode, otherwise you don’t exist.

Essentially becoming a hermit is easy – shun society and its expectations. Become spiritually enlightened and get stoned; I’m not sure I’ve got those in the right order.

Eventually others may wander along your path expecting words of wisdom. This is why many hermits live in remote locations, so that not only are they bothered less, but also so they can announce that “the path before you is long”, because it always invariably is.

Image courtesy of jessica.diamond