Jesus thinks you’re a jerk

Tweet I’m just kidding. Jesus doesn’t really think you’re a jerk; he doesn’t exist. If he did, he probably would though. I’m sorry, it’s not you it’s him, or at least what his fans think he would be like, but when people tell me “what would Jesus do?” I can’t help but think that he’d […] Read more »

Why this blog is only mildly amusing

Tweet So, someone, somewhere, wrote me a lovely message telling me how they were ever so slightly defective and to let me know that my blog was hilarious. I don’t know why it’s only ever defective people who tell me this; I just seem to attract that sort of person. In their collective defence though, […] Read more »

Do what you love, even if it’s crap.

Tweet I was talking to a lovely young lady about how I hoped the writing that I’m doing at the moment is the worst writing I’ll ever do. The thinking behind this being that one day I’d like to be actually quite good at this sort of stuff, and right now everything I write feels […] Read more »

Meditate Motherfucker

Tweet You probably don’t meditate, or if you do meditate you don’t do it properly; you probably listen to some new-age meditation mix tape shit (does anyone else still use tape?). You know the sort of tape I mean, some sort of positive self-affirming crap that tells you how awesome you are, like you don’t […] Read more »